Simple Steps - Ha You Kidding Me!! - Part II

Something good happened by this new intiative, people had actually started climbing stairs and I was able to breath eazy in the elevators, yes thats right I was tough and loyal to my principles. So the entire year I was the king of elevators, my manager used to watch this and once gave me a wicked grin, that is the day when I realised the end of the year is near.
It was time, I was sitting in the Hot Chair with people surronding me so that I wouldn't run away from the room. They were looking at me as if I am going to burst into tears, they were wicked I was arrogant, they banged the yearly results on to the table, I tried to scare them by showing them my attitude.
"Mr Jayashankar we found out that you have been performing extra ordinarily in all areas except for one. We had put a CSR initiative for the department which we were supposed to do it as a team. But we saw that you were not involved actively, so thus we conclude that you are not a team player and we have recommended your name to the training department for thier training on Team Building Activities for next six months and we are rating your performance as average. Hoping you would be scoring more next time"
That was quick, thats were I realised what that CSR banner actually meant.
To Save Some lets Shred Some
Today I am writing to you all from the training room 4, they have given us five mins break to freshen for next Team Building activity. Next time you see such initiative in your company do not ignore,but Tear that thing from the wall .

Simple Steps - Ha You Kidding Me!! - Part I

I am a offbeat guy with a sense of humour for anything that involves me shredding some pounds off my love handle. You belong to a mental asylum if you are spending money on gym, yeah thats my policy. Well it couldn't get worse when a new policy was set up as part of the corporate social responsibility intiative in the organization I work. The slogan couldn't be more torturing "To Save some lets shred some", well let me give you the background they want us to walk the entire staircase from floor to floor to save some enery, and guess in which floor I work, level five.
Yeah Gnid didn't had plans for famous five to have a famous five corporate office at level 5, they had it on a tree top, but my company have to build a 30 by 30 cubicle at level 5, by the way did I mention the first two level is parking or indirectly I am working at level 7. The slogan had a catch I had a closer look at the banner and the slogan had a asteriks to its end and the banner bottom said,
Goal - Climb 3 floors
Stretch Goal - Climb 5 floors
This was put into our yearly outlined goals, I was to climb 7 floors to get a good rating at the end of the year.

How to sell a Lie

It couldn't be a better day, my friend today is friday, Yes the day when all my misery and cribing of work comes to a halt for two days. Sunday evening is the time when I recharge to get going and achieve something out of life in five days. The week is lucky if its a long weekend, be it a friday off or monday . It doesn't matter which day you work, everyday is a monday as long as long you are working. Well today I decided to do something new, something no one has ever done, I decided to attend a two hours training on a product that automates online marketing, and I was so astonished on my decision to sit for the training. There were only five people in the room and a trainer who gosh I should say is well versed on the product of lie. Well the product is designed so that the Business who doesn't understand what a computer except for playing solitaire doesn't have to interact with the IT geeks who doesn't understand what a business attire is all about. Yes I agree there are IT people who wear suits, my friend they spend additional year(s) to get a degree of management so that they can prove they are too business minded, don't be so agonized with the way I have put it those are my views and I own it.

So the trainer went on and on for two hours explaining the audience why should the business should decide to buy this product, well to be frank I didn't get much what she was saying anyways. Only concern was why did the training was so cold, are they trying to brain freeze me, nah they don't have to worry too much to do that, they are busy in their strategy to lessen expense and device new ways of working the life out of people. Anyways I was smiling and nodding the entire time of the session, and when the feedback form was distributed I was so enthrilled I nearly had an heart attack. Well it has been years that someone would come up and say hey you Jayashankar good for nothing this ain't the way it has to be done, now its my turn, I would avenge, thy will suffer under my wrath of the mighty feed back hahahahahahaha.

I must say the form was impressive, it had columns and inputs section in details, I didn't have a pen so I borrowed one from the guy nearby (I am not sure if he was an ITian, he was carrying a pen). The judgement day has come I handed over the form to the trainer and went to the exit the room with a winning heart and a soul to conquer the odds.

Just outside I realised I forgot something, my cell phone and went in to pick it up and what did I see the trainer is reading the feedback form, I thought of leaving the cell phone there and go for it after some time, well no I can't do that my cell phone is precious, I have so many emotions and sms attached with that phone, so I dared and went ahead and picked up the cell silently and was about to exit the training room thats when she the trainer gave me a look, thats all I need to run for my life. I never looked back, I have training next month though and I am hoping its not the same trainer again, if she is I am on sick leave.